This last weekend was a little rough. There was a lot going on to deal with. It wasn’t all bad stuff, much of it was good, and that was the only thing that kept me from having a complete meltdown got me through it.
The sale of our house ran into some issues via the inspections. Something very unexpected came up in them and really threw us for a loop (I won’t bore you with the details because it’s a LONG story!). One of my best friends was coming up for the weekend, and she had just arrived and we were sitting down to lunch when the deal to sell our house basically fell apart via e-mail.
So I was trying to handle all that while not wanting to ignore my friend. It was impossible not to let it distract me and I had to fight not to let it get me down completely. Let me just cut to the chase here and not leave you wondering….we were able to get the deal back on track this week and we are back to having our house finally SOLD (knock wood! I will be knocking wood from now until closing). Every obstacle is hopefully out of the way and we plan to be closing and moving into our new house on March 18th. Yahoo!
Back to the weekend….while all that was going on, we also had to deal with the issue of having someone stay at our house, and the fact that Luke does not like strangers. Even though he has met this friend before, it has been a long time since her last visit, so it’s basically all new. Plus she was the first person at our house that he actually lunged at, scaring the heck out of all of us, and making me fear that biting someone could be next.
I put a management plan in place that involved two baby gates, a leash, and lots of maneuvering around. The goal was to have him know she was there, but to basically not have to interact with her directly. My hope was that doing things gradually would help him get used to having other people around, and to realize that he would not be forced to engage with them if it made him uncomfortable. The one thing that helped to complicate my plan was the fact that the weather was frigid and keeping Luke outside for any length of time was impossible.
In spite of that, it went very well. There was some barking when he’d get a glimpse of her, but never frenzied barking and lunging. In the past he would bark when he just heard a strange voice in the house but he seemed to get used to hers and it didn’t bother him. I had him upstairs with me Saturday morning and we could clearly hear my hubby and friend chatting away, and he did not bark at all.
It went so well it was tempting to try to do more. I resisted that temptation for two reasons. One, I really believe we needed to be doing it the gradual way we did and that in the long run it would pay off; and two, I didn’t want it to go badly and then be disappointed. I wanted to end it all on an optimistic note and that’s what we did. He was even looking for my friend when I came back home Sunday morning from taking her to the bus station. The next time she comes I feel like we can move on to the next step, letting him see her more at a safe distance, on a leash or in a crate. That will actually be easier in our new house which is open concept and far more roomy.
The way it went also gave me hope that using the crate will be a good tool to move this to the next step. That is still in the works….we’re making progress with the crate but it is very slow. Now that we have no more house showings and can leave it set up all the time, we’re able to work on things more. I’ll be writing a post about it for the next Positive Pet Training Hop. Luke really showed me just how smart he is when we were working on it yesterday, and we had a breakthrough; however, I want to make sure it wasn’t just a fluke before sharing about it.
I felt badly that my friend had to deal with all the house drama when she was here, not to mention the challenges of keeping Luke and her apart; but she was very understanding about it all. We had a nice get together at my sister’s house Saturday evening, and both that and the company for the weekend at least kept my mind off the house at times. Plus having a close friend there to talk to was a great help as well.
In spite of the good outweighing the bad, by Sunday the migraine that I had been fighting since Friday kicked in completely. I decided to give myself a break and I spent some time curled up on the couch with a good book (Showstoppers: The Returns 2
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Buying and selling a house is SO STRESSFUL and exhausting. Glad you took some time for yourself at the end of the day on Sunday. sometimes snuggling on the couch with a furry friend is the best medicine.
It certainly is!! It was definitely just what I needed. 🙂
They say the three most stressful things in life are getting married, having a baby and buying a house. I know how frustrating that is, because we too had issues in buying our current home. I finally threw up my hands and said, we can’t do it. Then lo and behold it worked out. So glad yours did too!
Have you read the Fearful Dogs blog? It’s written by Debbie Jacobs. You may find some insight there. Baby steps are so important with reactive dogs. Which is why I get so frustrated with DADO’s.
I was walking Sampson shortly after he did his partial tear and the neighbor was out with her dog (on leash.) I moved to the other side of the street and she said, “They’ve met before.”
Yes, yes they had. But Sampson was now injured and I couldn’t be sure something might not happen. Setting your dog up to succeed is so important and it sounds like you are doing just that.
Over 20 years later and I’ve forgotten just how stressful it was when we had this house built…a whole other ball of wax but equally crazy! It almost didn’t work out for us either, but finally came together (long story).
I am familiar with that blog, and I think one of her books has been on my list to read; but I’ll have to check it out again. It seems like there’s never an end to the things I have to research!
I remember one time I had Cricket, who is sometimes leash reactive, and chose to avoid a lady walking a dog. She got totally insulted and was consoling her dog because he couldn’t get to meet us. Geez.
Glad you got to spend time with your friend and that the house deal is back on. How nerve wracking.
I’m glad everything came together with your house, and you had an overall good weekend!
I’m glad your house deal went back on track and your friend coming over went smoothly!
I’m so glad things are working out well with the house sale now. There always seems to be drama of some sort when it comes to selling a house, it’s just a matter of degrees! Great work with Luke, it sounds like you made all the right decisions. 🙂
I am so happy for you that things are moving forward with the house… 🙂 I am still happy to volunteer to visit and get Luke more comfortable with visitors. He did love me for one night long ago….when he was younger…lol…didn’t you take pictures of him snuggled up with me? I’d love to see this again. I’m determined to get Lukey to trust me. I’m just not visiting enough these days. I need to sell my house and move closer! ????
Yes, you do! Then I’m sure we can get Luke to snuggle up with you again one day!
There is nothing more satisfying then small breakthroughs with a reactive dog. Sorry your weekend was so crazy, hope this week is quieter.
Glad the house sale got back on track. My friend has been in a similar situation and I know how stressful that can be! Rita can also be weird when strangers come to the house. She’s mostly fine, but certain people set her off. We want to have our kitchen redone, and the contractor came by and she HATED him. It was really embarrasing. He’s a very calm person, and that’s usually the type of person she likes, but for some reason she would NOT stop barking at him and even tried to lunge at him. I had to keep her on leash the whole time he was there. It’s going to be a long haul when we actually get the work done on the kitchen. NOT looking forward to it. Going to have to keep her closed off in the back of the house with the use of our baby gates.
Luke actually used to do better, and the last times we had work done here, as long as the contractors ignored him he was OK. Somewhere along the way he got worse. The only bad part about keeping him separate is that he will bark A LOT, and actually Cricket does too. But I always figure it’s best not to let them be underfoot anyway (just get some earplugs..LOL). You’ll get through it, and it will be worth it to have a new kitchen!
We’re sorry you had to go through all of that…but it sounds like you got things handled well. And we sure hope your migraine is gone now.
What do you think causes him to lunge and almost bite like that?
I believe it’s purely fear. Some people have suggested that he is protective of me, but I don’t think that’s it because he has acted fearful when people came to the house when we weren’t home.
When he was younger, he would just back off and bark at people; he was never aggressive in any way. But when he started going towards people instead of away, even though we were working with him, I knew we had to manage things better to keep everyone safe. He may not bite, part of me doesn’t believe that he will, but it’s just not a chance I’m willing to take.
Oh no! I’m sorry you had a bunch of stress over the weekend! That’s not fun! I also really sympathize with your migraine, too!
That’s awesome that you stuck with your management plan for Luke and didn’t give into asking him for more. I’ve made that mistake in the past and seriously regretted it. I’m also so happy to see Luke wearing his parka. I’m glad you’re getting good use out of it! 😀
So glad you were able to get your house deal back on track and keeping you in our prayers that the deal and your move go smoothly!
Sounds like you and Luke did great! Rudy does not like people in our house other than us. No acting out, but lots of barking. When we have overnight guests it all starts all over again when they get out of bed. It’s soft woofs at that point. Baby steps are a good thing.
Thank you for sharing that about Rudy! It always makes me feel better to know that Luke is not the only dog like that. The last time my friend came over he was a bit better, but he did exactly what you said. We’d think he was OK, but when she got up the next morning he’d start all over again! At least now we know that when we take that next step, we might have to repeat it every morning! 🙂
Exhale my friend – you’re almost there. I remember having to deal with the sale of our home smack dab in the middle of Tiffany’s out of state wedding. Wasn’t easy – I too had to make people think they had my undivided attention when I was thinking about the roof and the water heater. #Ifeelyou But your friend is your friend and I am sure she understood. Mine did. Focus forward – you’re about to move into your new home #congrat’s Can’t wait to hear about it and see photos. Take care my friend #exhale
I think I am breathing now! We are on to packing, and even though everyone seems to think that’s the worst part, I’m just glad to be at it, and plus it’s something I can control! #controlfreak here. LOL
Busy but it all sounds like it went well. Yay for the sale of your house. That must be a load of stress lifted. Hope you have a relaxing rest of the week.
My heart fell when I read the house selling problem. I am pulling for your success so I won’t be so hesitant to put our home for sale. BOL! We always keep the boys on leashes when people come over for at least the first ten minutes so they can calm down. We don’t have many visitors so they tend to lose their minds with excitement. I hope that my book was able to take your mind off the stresses and enjoy some laughs. Thanks for the shout-out! ♥ ♥
I know that when all is said and done, and we’re moving into our new home, it will all be worth it and I can put the stress behind me. I think we had especially difficult buyers (and their realtor is a real piece of work), so I don’t think it’s always as stressful as it was for us (I told my hubby we just got “lucky” in getting the buyers from hell – LOL).
Just prepare yourself just in case, and you can always email me for some understanding if it is difficult! 🙂
And yes, your book was just what I needed to get a smile back on my face!
First of all, I’m glad everything turned out okay with the house!! I know I’d have been freaked out, too!
Secondly, I understand the whole barking/lunging thing – and the fear of what might be next – but you’ve been working with Luke and he did well. It’s good that you didn’t push the envelope too soon. Chances are things would have gone well; but better to wait until you’re more comfortable with it. Ducky is so small and quick that it’s hard for me to work with her alone in similar situations; and you know how far I’d get asking the dog dad for help. So, any work that needs to be done in the house is scheduled for days when she’s at daycare. It’s a lot less stressful for all of us that way.
That’s a good plan…getting things done when Ducky is at daycare! I get some help from my hubby, but I mostly had to do the planning and maneuvering around myself. If it was left to him, Luke probably would end up biting someone (or he’d just yell at him and that would not be any help)! I am a worrier and over-protective but I always figure “better safe than sorry” too!
The selling and moving times are probably the most stressful people have to live through. And our dogs are never much help.
Hang in there, this too shall pass.
Once those house issues are over it will be so nice.
Lily & Edward
Sounds like there was more stress than usual from a variety of directions but here you are on the other side and ALL IS WELL…………..congrats on getting over the hurdle regarding the sale of the house – March 18th is coming fast!! Also sounds like Luke did pretty well all things considered……taking baby steps forward is a whole lot better than giant steps back!!
Pam and Sam
I always say knowledge can be dangerous. Had I known all the things that could go wrong when we bought our current house I would have been a mess. Sorry about the inspection, but we know that happens and you are lucky it came back together! The realtors for both sides must be real good because often times one side has no fight and then it doesn’t work out. Mom is the same with flying. Having worked for the airline for many years she is always paranoid when there is any delay, weather, etc as she knows the odds of things going as planned are like zero, while all the other passengers are clueless. Relax, it will happen and soon you will be settling into your new home.
You are right, we ARE lucky it came back together! Our realtor is very good, but the buyer’s realtor was quite difficult. It actually took me writing an email to the buyers to explain our position and ask if we could possibly salvage the deal. Part of me just wanted to let it go, honestly, they’ve been such a pain all along. But the other part of me didn’t want to start the process all over again!
It is probably just as well that I didn’t know going into it just how stressful it was going to be! But now I can focus mostly on packing…positive things that I can at least control! 🙂
Oh wow! That does sound like a stressful weekend. I’m glad things are back on track with selling your house–and you’ll be closing the day after me! It’s nice to know there’s someone else out there who’s going to be dealing with the packing and moving at the same time. Sounds like Luke did great! Barley loves most people who come into the house, but one of my coworkers makes her crazy, so the few times he’s been over here, she stays on a leash and as long as we stay on opposite sides of the room and there are lots of snacks, she’s happy, but the second the snacks stop she starts barking like a lunatic again. I’m glad Luke was able to get more comfortable with hearing a new voice in the house.
How cool that we’re closing within one day of each other! Now that (hopefully) all the garbage is out of the way, I’m happy to just settle into the packing, though I’ll probably get tired of it before I’m done (mostly it’s going through 20+ years of stuff we’ve accumulated!)
It always makes me feel better to hear that other dogs have trouble with some strangers (though with Luke it’s everyone!), at least I feel not so alone!