Working through the grief and carrying on
First of all, I need to thank everyone for their kind and loving comments through the blog and Facebook page, before and after Moses’ surgery. I wanted to answer each and every comment, but I’m sorry it was just too much. For a few days I just couldn’t focus on anything. Please know that every comment was read and appreciated more than you could know. The love and support was so comforting to us, whether it came from close friends and family, or from the new friends I have made through this blog. You all understand what it feels like.
I am emerging from my cloud of grief and trying to get back into everyday life. That life has changed somewhat….a special part is missing, but sweet memories of our Moses will get us through. We have been off our fitness routines, and I am woefully behind on reading other blogs. My house is a disaster (well, it always is really). Today is the first day I feel we are starting to get back into all of those things.
I was going to share some happy stories of our life with Moses, but then I went back and read the post I wrote telling Moses’ story back in April. I think I managed to cover all his funny stories and personality quirks. If you care to go back and read about him, you can find that story HERE. I’m glad I will have it to go back to in time, when memories start to fade a little bit.
Just one more thing I wanted to say about Moses was that our friend Kim reminded us that he chose us. We had gone to visit our Sheba after she was born and before she was due to come home with us. Moses waddled up to my husband’s feet, was then picked up, and proceeded to fall asleep in his arms. Need I say more? I love to think that Moses couldn’t have asked for a better life than with us. I know that we couldn’t have asked for a better dog.
A little on the other dogs
It has made it easier for us to have the other dogs to help console us. We are also concerned on how they are handling this….they have lost a pack member too. It has been most difficult for Sheba since Moses was her blood brother. From the time I took Moses to his surgery on Monday, and up to this time, she has stuck by my side much more than usual. The other morning Cricket was playing ball, and Sheba was in the house with us; that is very unusual. But she is OK, and starting to get back to her usual routines. Today I took her for a run, thinking some one on one time with Mom might be good for her, and I think it was. Kobi and Cricket seem to be OK….they are more of the bonded pair, as Sheba as Moses were, because they were together before the Goldens came along.
There are still empty places….certain places that Moses used to lay, his own food dishes, and the funny things he used to do. But at least the house isn’t too quiet or too empty.
When we lost our first dog Shelby, she was our only dog, and our house was hopelessly empty when she passed on. When we lost our second dog, Maggie, we had Kobi to help us. But Kobi took her passing very hard….those two were very close. He hasn’t had the same relationship with the dogs that came after her, though I know he appreciates their company.
This time it is good for us to still have the three dogs to focus our love and attention on. We made a special trip to town to buy them each something. The girls each got a new toy and Kobi got some booties which he needed (more on that in a bit). Not that they aren’t already spoiled, but a little extra can’t hurt.
The day after we lost Moses, my husband was able to stay home from work with me, which meant a lot. I needed the company. That afternoon the dogs started barking and we looked out the window to see one of our neighbors in the yard. When we went outdoors to greet him, he told us that a strange dog had wandered into his yard from the woods, and he wanted to be sure he wasn’t one of ours. He turned around to see that the dog had followed him into our yard. It was a young, very handsome German Shorthaired Pointer. Our neighbor is new to the area, and wasn’t quite sure what to do.
We offered to help. The dog was a little skittish but we were able to get close to him and eventually slip a looped leash around his neck (he was not wearing a collar). We corralled him into our garage and I went to call the police department. The dispatcher had a report of a lost dog, of the same breed! She patched me through to his owner, who happened to live not that far from us. Her dog had escaped from her downtown, and probably followed the rail trail and then up onto our street. He was headed toward home, but had made a bit of a detour. She came right over to pick him up, and she was so grateful. We were happy to have helped.
Now, maybe I’m just being silly, and looking for signs….but I couldn’t help but think that perhaps Moses had sent that dog our way, because he knew we would help him. Or maybe he just knew it would be a nice distraction for us, get our mind off of things for a while. Either way, it did give us a distraction that afternoon. We believe what we need to believe, and what can it hurt?
Kobi got Pawz and Pawks
Kobi is 12 years old now, getting close to 13. He’s starting to show his old age. He has problems with his back legs slipping and sliding on our tile and hardwood floors. Also, when we walk outside one back leg drags a little towards the end of a walk. We’ve shortened his walks, and we’ve put carpet treads on our stairs that are wood.
He has been to the vet, and has had x-rays and tests. He does not have arthritis and everything looks good with his health. Our vet feels it is just old age, and since he has not gotten any worse in two or more months, we have tried not to worry about it too much. Still, we hated that he slipped and slid, especially when he gets excited, like at supper time. Not that any of this bothers him that much….he still loves to walk and he never needs to stop to rest, and he is no worse for wear when we get back from a walk. If he slips sideways on the floor he just picks himself up and goes on. We wouldn’t want him to hurt himself that way though.
Thanks to Sugar the Golden Retriever, I was familiar with the dog booties called Pawz. Sugar wears them because of allergies, to protect her paws from allergens. I had also seen Emma’s sister Katie, from My GBGV Life, wearing one on an injured paw. So I wondered if something like that could help Kobi. I got online to research and discovered that “traction control” was one of the benefits to Pawz! I found a store nearby that carried them and we went to get some! While we were there, we also saw “Pawks” which look like little slipper socks for dogs. We decided to try both. Right now he is wearing the Pawks around the house, and the Pawz for a walk. We are just trying them out, so I will give another report after we’ve used them for some time. But he seems to have better traction in the house, and on our walk today he trucked right along like a new dog. He still slowed down towards the end, but I don’t think his paw was dragging as much.
The other great thing…..Kobi hates having ANYTHING put on him, even his harness. But he was so patient and so good about having these put on! I had a little trouble figuring out the best way to do it, but he did not put up a fuss at all, even when I was a little slow at it. Also, he didn’t prance around like they bothered him. He adjusted to them very quickly, and I am so excited about that!
We are joining 2 Brown Dawgs Blog for their This ‘N That Thursday blog hop.
Moving on is so very difficult after the loss of a beloved furriend…Moses will live with you forever and know that there are so many of us out here who know how this loss feels and send you healing prayers
Thank you, Gizmo. It helps so much to know that others care and know how our loss feels. That is what will help us carry on.
Long Life Cats and Dogs says
I am so incredibly and truly sorry for your loss. These are such hard times. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Thank you so much. Unfortunately when we have pets we know this will happen….but they are still worth it, aren’t they?
Hawk aka BrownDog says
Just hopped over to say “hi”. I am so sorry to hear about Moses.
Thank you though for the information about the booties. My Human says one of the problems she’s had when we pawed pals get older, is loss of footing on the wood floors. Looking forward to hearing more about how well the booties work in the house.
Please accept our deepest sympathy for your loss.
Hawk aka BrownDog
Thank you for stopping by, Hawk, and for expressing your sympathy.
We had never had a dog that lived to be old, so we didn’t know our wood floors would end up being an issue! We had gotten rid of all our carpet, because it was so difficult to keep clean with having pets. Ironic, I guess! Hopefully the booties will solve the problem, especially since we have two other dogs that will be getting on in years too.
Jackie Bouchard says
I am glad to hear that it sounds like you are doing as well as can be expected, given it is still so soon after losing Moses. We’ve always been a one dog at a time family and the house is SO quiet when they are gone. It’s good that you have the other pups to help – and for you to help them as well.
I hope reading What the Dog Ate will bring you some smiles at such a difficult. I promise it has a happy ending!
I’m working on my new book right now, which is a fictionalized version of the story of our pup that we lost to bone cancer. Working on it helped me work through my grief. I hope you have a good outlet too – maybe this blog?
Wow, your Kobi really does look a lot like our Bailey in her later years. He looks so handsome in his red halter. And those Pawks – omd, so cute!
Hang in there. Thinking of you guys. (oh, and yes, I’m pretty sure Moses sent you that pup for a sign. I’m a big believer in looking for the signs.)
Oh, thank you for saying that about the signs, Jackie! You had mentioned that in one of your previous comments, and I was pretty sure that was what you meant.
I really enjoy your sense of humor on your blog, so I thought your book might be just what I needed right now. Some of the other books on my reading list just sounded a bit too intense for me at this time..
Your current book sounds like it is going to be good too! The cancer subject is something I’ve been thinking about a lot now.
This blog is definitely an outlet for me, and along with caring for the other dogs (& the 2 cats we have also) I think it will help me through this greatly.
SlimDoggy (@MySlimDoggy) says
Glad to hear you have so much support and that the rest of the pack seems to be adjusting okay. Having gone through this a couple of time the last few years, I know how difficult it is. Having this record of Moses and his life & times is a good touchstone for you. Thanks for mentioning the boots – I think I need some of those for our Maggie too.
Unfortunately, even though the pain eases, it never completely goes away, so I know that you know exactly what it feels like. I can think back to the day when we lost our Maggie, 9 years ago, and still remember how painful that was. (luckily I don’t do that too often)
I think these boots are going to be a very good thing!
I completely understand your feelings this week since we’re in the same boat. Everyone has been so kind to us, and that helps a lot. I found that I just didn’t have the energy to comment back, either. I hope that you are feeling as comforted this week as we have!
We’ve used Pawz for Morgan in the winter, but I’ve never thought of them for traction in the house! Good idea!
I know that you feel exactly the same way I have this week. Even if we handled things a little differently, I know our pain is the same. But I am glad I am not the only one that just didn’t have the energy to do all the things I normally do this week. It really has been a great comfort, all the support out there, another reason I am glad I started this blog.
We are thinking of you guys. We know it will take some time to move on, and until then, remember all the happy times.
Thank you, Finn, for understanding and caring.
2 brown dawgs says
Thanks so much for joining the hop. I am quite honored that you joined my hop just a few short days after losing Moses. We had a Golden before we had the Chessies and they are still quite dear to my heart. I am sure you will miss your boy for a long time to come. They are never with us long enough.
Farewell Sweet Moses.
Thank you for saying that….I am trying to get back into things and being able to join the hop was good for me. Thank you for your kind words about our Moses…they truly are not with us long enough.
I’m guessing the new booties will be part of the routine when I babysit next time! He looks so cute in them. 🙂 Good job keeping distracted and helping with that lost dog. He came to just the right house!
Yup, one of the reasons I thought it would be good for you to come over ahead of time, to learn any changes in routine! 🙂
I just can’t believe that he’s been so good about wearing them!
I did learn some stuff from GSDR, so knew what to do with that dog, that was a cool thing! We were just happy to help, and to be able to keep the poor guy from going to “doggie jail” and having to get bailed out….which apparently happened once before. 🙂
SUGAR: Golden Woofs says
First We are so sorry to hear the passing of Mosses. “C” is tough for a Golden or any dog. You have precious memories of Mosses that he’ll be remembered forever.
PAWZ have been a savior for Sugar’s paws. Living in HI last year (it might not be obvious on our posts n I never blog about it) damaged Sugar’s paws. She had sensitivity on the ground when we move back last Feb (its winter too). Anyway, we are Golden Happy as many of our blog friends have purchased/using the PAWZ based on our blogs/experience. We are doing a follow-up post on “Getting Noticed”
We are curious what size is Kobi wearing? Red comes only in small. So glad it is helping Kobi. Be careful using Pawks especially if you have wood floors.
Sending you Lots of Golden LOVE n Woofs, Sugar
Thank you, Sugar. I am glad to hear that the Pawz are still helping Sugar, and lots of other dogs too.
Kobi is wearing the Small. They didn’t have Medium at the store we went to, and the Small package listed Beagle on it. However, Kobi is a large Beagle, and I did have some trouble getting them on him. They seemed to fit OK once I had them on though. I did the measurements they said and it also seemed right. However, I may pick up the Medium this weekend to see how they fit.
The Pawks do have some rubber on the bottom, so that they keep him from slipping on the wood floors. We weren’t sure if the Pawz would be good for wearing all day indoors?
Thank you for the Golden Love, we can use it right now! 🙂
Thanks for the mention! It sounds like Koby has a milder version of what Katie has. Katie’s dragging is caused by her arthritis which is actually worst in her paws. She drags her back left paw more when she is tired out too. She has been dragging it for a long time and the reason we started with the Pawz is that her middle two nails were worn off and started bleeding from the dragging. The Pawz help keep the nails from being “filed down” while walking and she only wears the one. Because of the dragging they don’t last all that long, but I just rotate them around as her claws poke through and that works for us. Also, check your local Target because they are on clearance now for like $5 a package which is a great price! He seems like such a sweetie, hope his new shoes help him out and I am sure he misses his brother too. Still can’t believe he is gone! So very sorry for you and your family.
Thank you so much, Emma. Kobi’s nails haven’t worn down, but his toes were starting to splay a bit, and he got a sore spot between two of them. So we knew we needed to do something. I think the booties will help keep his toes together a little more too. I am glad to hear that they are still helping Katie, I was hoping this was going to be a good long term solution. Thanks so much for the tip on Target! Our nearest one is about 50 miles away, but I’m actually headed down there this weekend, so I will definitely be looking for them!