We enjoy joining in our friend Brian’s Thankful Thursday blog hop. As Brian says: “I know, sometimes it can be tough, but the thankfuls are always there if you seek them out.” This week, I was having one of those tough times. I already had one story I thought I’d tell, but I was having a bit of a hard time with it. We’d had some up and down training issues with Luke lately, and sometimes it’s difficult to share about all that, even though things came out OK in the long run.
Then he challenged me once again, and on those days when your reactive/fearful dog drives you to tears? Those are the days you really have to search harder for something to be thankful for. I’ve been having some stressful times lately, trying to learn a new job and balance that with everything else going on. While I enjoy having different things to do, farm, blog, painting at my sister’s, and my new bookkeeping position; it can be tough trying to figure out how to make it all work together. I’ve felt like I haven’t had a lot of time for the dogs while I’m figuring things out.
Yesterday morning dawned bright and beautiful, the snow is melting, and I couldn’t wait to take the dogs for a walk. Dadz had the day off, but he was off running some errands, so Luke, Cricket and I headed out into our woods on our own. We weren’t far from the house when our neighbor decided to do some target shooting (I guess that’s what they’re doing). Luke doesn’t like the shooting (who can blame him?), and depending on how the wind is blowing, it can sound closer than it is. We have 17 acres of land encompassing three different lots, and our house sits on the center lot. We were headed to walk on the furthest lot, away from where they shoot.
I thought Luke would be OK, since we were so far away from it, and I thought the walk and smells would be a good distraction for him. While he would stop and sit every so often (and I’d see him shaking), he seemed to do OK with some encouragement. I did consider going right back to the house, but I was afraid he would take that to mean he really did need to be afraid. If we went to the house, we would still hear the shooting, and he would still be scared anyway. So we continued on.
It was going OK as we looped around away from the house, and the shooting seemed to stop. But as we headed back towards the house (and obviously in his mind, towards the direction of the shooting, even though it had now stopped for several minutes), he didn’t want to go. He parked his butt on the ground and refused to move. No amount of cajoling on my part would get him to budge. The only time he would move was if we headed in the opposite direction from the house (which was going to make it difficult to get back home!).
I tried everything – tugging gently, saying all his cues for going with me, talking nicely, talking firmly, and as a last resort even dropping his leash and walking away to see if he would follow. I unhooked Cricket and let her go further away to see if he would follow her (I didn’t want to let either of them loose, but I didn’t know what else to try). Tears came as I realized I just didn’t know what else to do. I wish I’d had treats with me to bribe him (I don’t usually bring any in the winter since our walks are shorter and we won’t work on training because it’s too difficult with gloves on). Though I honestly don’t think they would have helped.
The only thing that finally saved us was my hubby coming home. We could see our street from where we were and saw his truck turn onto it. I said “Daddy’s home, let’s go see him!” At first that didn’t work….Luke barked but still didn’t move. Perhaps it was the truck door slamming or my hubby talking to himself, but finally Luke realized that Dadz was home and wanted to go (and proceeded to drag me that way without stopping).
I can’t help but wonder what I would have done if my hubby had been working. I guess I would have tried to walk away from the house and loop back in a different location, though I don’t know if that would have worked because I did try that. At least I didn’t have to work until later, so I could have tried waiting him out too (though Cricket was getting tired of going nowhere).
There are times like this that I honestly just don’t know what to do with him. While everything I read says we need to expose him to his fears slowly and work with him, I just don’t know if that’s the answer with Luke. I feel like most times we’ve tried that he’s just gotten worse (though we did have some good progress with having company over recently). Simply letting Luke live in his small, safe and comfortable world seems to be better for him. I don’t know; as my title says, some days I’m just at my wit’s end. There seems to be an endless list of things I need to work on with him; and not enough hours in the day. When we make progress in one area, something like this comes up elsewhere.
So as I sit here writing this with tears still in my eyes, what on earth can I find to be thankful for here? I commented to my hubby once Luke was happily safe back in his own yard that I can see why dogs like Luke sometimes end up in shelters. Not that I would ever, ever, consider that, but there are certainly people that don’t have as much love and patience as we do. There are people who aren’t willing to turn their whole lives around and upside down for a needy dog.
What if Luke had ended up with a family like that, maybe a family that was active and outgoing and weren’t happy being homebodies like we are? That’s my thankful today; as ironic as it might seem as I share this story; I am thankful that Luke ended up with us. While I think there are probably people out there who would do even more for him, who have more patience, more smarts, and maybe even more time than I do; who might do better with training or have the answers I don’t, there’s a good chance if we hadn’t chosen him, he may have ended up in a shelter.
When we chose Luke from the rescue, there were two litters and 22 puppies to choose from (since we wanted a male, that narrowed it down to 9). It seems quite fateful that Luke was the one we ultimately chose, and honestly, there are days I wonder why! I often feel he could have found someone more suited to training a reactive dog than we are. However, I can’t help but feel that no one could love him and understand him more than we do. Maybe we’re not equipped to “fix” his issues, but we are equipped to at least try to understand and to love him in spite of them.
Thank you to Brian’s Home for hosting the Thankful Thursday blog hop. Please visit other blogs through the links below!
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Luke is so lucky to have you! Having a reactive dog can be so hard. And frustrating. And heartbreaking. Rye’s working through some things right now (like barking and lunging at cars) and there have been days when the only way I can get her back home is by picking her up and carrying her. (Thankfully, it’s my 30 pound dog that is having the meltdowns and not Barley.) Treats help, but only if I can get her attention before she freaks out, so I know what you mean about those not always being effective. I know you’ll figure out what will work for Luke–you’ve done so much for him already!
Oh no, I’m sorry you’re having issues with Rye as well. I wish I could have picked up Luke and carried him home! I have a couple ideas to try, and I won’t be leaving home without treats again either, just in case they might work after all (hopefully if I can get them out as soon as we hear any shooting that would help).
Today we walked and he was kind of jumpy, but luckily no shooting, and he was fine for most of it (all the deer poop was a distraction – LOL).
Thank you for your encouragement!
Mama feels your pain I am da same way wif gun shots, fireworks, big booms (we live near da military base) and thunder buts you’re right if it weren’t fur ya’ll or my pawrents we might still be sitting in a shelter or even worse. All you can do is da best you can and love us in spite of our quirks.
xoxo,
Matt (& Matilda)
You are very right about that, Matt. I’m sorry you have those fears too though. 🙁
You are giving Luke an amazing life, and yes, thank goodness he ended up with you and Tom.
Thank you, Auntie Sheryl! ♥
It hurts my heart to know you are feeling this way, and I know, because I’ve been there. Delilah came from a high kill shelter, and honestly, I don’t want to tell you how long we struggled with her. My sister always says I’ve done more for her than most people would. BUT she’s done just as much for me. She’s taught me a lot, and I know Luke will teach you too.
I can’t tell you how to work with him on the shooting thing, because we have not struggled with a noise issue with Delilah. But we did struggle with her being reactive to other dogs, which made walking her in our neighborhood extremely hard. She always had a “I’ll get you before you get me attitude”, and I worked very hard with her using treats to get her past those distractions. And yes, I use treats in the winter and my gloves show it, because the fingers have holes in them. 🙂 When I’m trying to get Delilah past a distraction, I don’t just show her the treat and give it to her. I hold it in my hand and keep walking. She focuses on the treat and not on the distraction, and once we are past I tell her good girl, and give her the treat.
I still have to do that when we are passing another dog that is walking on the opposite side of the street. But she’s really gotten to the point (knock wood) where she can walk past a dog in its yard barking. In fact, one lady commented to me, “Those dogs are going ballistic, and your dog could care less.” (She has a small dog that barks incessantly). I told her it’s a lot of work right there.
I’m not sure I’ve ever mentioned this to you before, but we’ve had some good luck with Sampson and his noise issues with a certain calming chew. If you are interested, send me a text or let me know and I’d be happy to share.
Please try to be gentle with yourself. You are doing everything you can, and I really believe Luke WILL get it. 🙂
That’s a good idea about carrying the treat along, I will keep that in mind (and treats will always go with us from now on!). You’ve done such a great job with Delilah!
If not for where we live, I’d be needing to work with Luke on that issue as well. One time a stray dog did come into our yard when we were just getting back from a walk, and Luke was not happy. Luckily he had his harness on, so I was able to get him into our car (the closest place at the time).
I think maybe you’ve told me about the calming chews before – something you get from your vet maybe?
I have some ideas to work on, and I won’t give up. Luke more than makes up for all his challenges with all the love he gives us.
I’m glad you guys have each other and you are so right not many people want dogs that they have to work hard at having. I’m sorry you had the set back. Maybe next time is there a high reward toy you can take with and treats and when the shooting goes off you distract him with the toy and then treats to desensitize him to the noise so he learns noise equals fun stuff. That is what we do with our dogs so they like gun shots and don’t become gun shy.
Those are some great ideas, and I’m going to give that a try. I have some loose squeakers I can put in my pocket and I was thinking that might get his attention, and then treats. Thank you!! I’m also going to work on distracting him when we hear the shots when at home, because I was thinking that might help too.
Please don’t feel bad!! Believe it or not…….Dakota is IDENTICAL. I think I mentioned that before. You shouldn’t feel bad. Dakota was NOT adopted (has no reason to be that way, it is just how he is made) Remember when I write about how he doesn’t love walks? I am always embarrassed to write that. Well, he will walk fine and then for NO REASON just stop and REFUSE to move. Just like Luke. I have also tried walking away from him, etc…I HAVE brought treats and when he is in that mode he won’t budge. All I can tie it to is a long time ago a garbage truck at our complex scared him and a mother goose once tried to attack him on a walk. That was YEARS AND YEARS ago…….I took him for a walk yesterday and he did fine…….I just let him choose where he wants to go on his walk and when he is done, we’re done. Luke is a sweetheart, don’t be embarrassed……I also often think the dogs that DON’T always do what we want are the more intelligent dogs (((hugs)))
Thank you so much, Caren. I knew you had said Dakota didn’t like walks, but I didn’t realize just how bad it could be. Thank you for sharing that. It’s amazing sometimes how dogs never forget. When we walked today, Luke was kind of jumpy, so I know he was probably remembering our last walk. But he went on after that and was fine (luckily it was quiet).
You do great with Luke, that sounds like a very frustrating situation, but in a way, who can blame him-he was smart enough to know where not to go for near those sounds. …and well, you can be thankful that the Dadz did come home! But no question Luke belongs with you, and you know, still you keep working with him, and he is young still, so there is hope for the future, and meanwhile, you both get through by just loving each other. Chin up, Jan! Love you!
Thank you, Lynn! You are right, Luke was really being smart in a way. Hopefully this doesn’t happen again (normally they only shoot on weekends, so I tend to walk during the week more). But everyone has given me some ideas to try next time.
I feel your pain. Some dogs are more fearful than others. My Rottie mix is always on high alert when we walk. She has to pass by the same dog and their human 50X before she can calmly walk by them without pulling and whining. My other dog is confident and doesn’t have a care in the world. Hang in there.
I bet Luke is glad he ended up with you. It’s so hard to know what’s going through their minds. Torrey is terrified of gunshots, fireworks, anything boomy. Even though she has been around it since she was a puppy. We just help her deal with it, and hope the noises end soon.
Cricket doesn’t like the loud noises either, but she is more easily distracted from it. She wasn’t bothered at all when we were walking, but if she hears it when in the house, she’ll come hide by my feet. I’m trying to get out some treats when we hear them now, in the hopes that will help distract both dogs.
I can see how upsetting a situation like that would be. And I totally know how you feel about Luke ending up in the right home – we say that about Daisy all the time. She has allergy issues, and we’re so familiar with that because *we* have allergy issues too, so we take the time and patience to figure out what’s going on with her and fix it naturally rather than with medications. So far so good – Daisy’s almost 8, and we got her at 12 weeks old – but of course the easiest answer would have been meds. Unhealthy and not a solution, just a bandage, and we worked hard and long to avoid that. It paid off with tremendous improvements and no more symptoms. Plus her little delicate self has had two surgeries that needed intense care afterward, which a lot of people won’t make time for. Those surgeries, unfortunately, required permanently restricted activity and no more socialization. Fortunately Daisy is a homebody too, but it does make for some difficult times when we need to travel to visit family; she wasn’t reactive when she was socialized, but now she is. So I can sympathize with you and completely agree that Luke found the perfect home.
There seems to be a lot of truth to the thought that dogs end up exactly where they are supposed to be. How fateful is it that Daisy has the same health issues that you do? I am also a shy and nervous person, and I think that helps me to understand Luke even more.
Poor Luke and poor you. Luke loves you both and it’s very obvious that you love him too so it’s wonderful you are willing to try and work through those issues with him. We’re all here with you through the Luke journey and together you can do it. Thanks for joining the Thankful Thursday Blog Hop!
It is so great to have the support of our blogging friends. It’s like being able to share my story with a close friend, and to just know I’m not alone. Thank you. ♥
Glad it worked out for you to get back to the house with both of the pups. We have shooting a ways from here in the fall, I think deer or pheasant. Katie used to be terrified and all she wanted to do was run home, but Mom made her keep on walking which wasn’t easy with an 80 lb dog. Once she lost her hearing, problem solved. Such fears are tough to deal with. Sometimes we make our mom cry too with things we do. You are no alone and we send you some hugs.
Thank you so much….I really appreciate that. Oh gosh, I can imagine how hard that must have been with Katie, Luke only weighs about 60 and I couldn’t budge him!!
me too… he found you and you understand what he feels sometimes and you can lower his fears with love and understanding…. we hate this noises too and we fear the weekend in hunting season, there is no quiet place to find…. but our smart leaders heard our complaints(haha as if) , now silencers for hunters are allowed (the madness never stopps…)
And I’m sure all the hunters will be lining up to use those! (maybe not??)